What I'd like to do is go for long walks and wander aimlessly.
But a new academic year rapidly approaches. I still need to finish getting ready. Sometimes it's good to try to work. Other times, it's hopeless. Fortunately, I still have not had to press myself.
Sometimes I sink into real depression again. Other times, moments of being really glad to be alive break through like those rays of light between storm clouds -- unbelievably bright, but passing by so fleetingly. I am glad for them, though. They remind me that there really is a brilliant sun behind the clouds. I do know this even when I am not directly seeing it.
And sometimes I actually believe that I can enter into the new academic year with a whole new attitude: keeping "in touch" and staying centered.
Lately I've started avoiding work as much as possible, but I sense that new ideas about how to handle it well are brewing under the surface. So, when it is time, then I will be ready and I will know how to take it on with grace and effectiveness.
So I hope.
5 years ago