Place is landscape. But the landscape includes not only the natural and built environment, but also the relational context.
Who are you connected to, and how?
Are the strands of connection made of manipulation, control, or obedience, or are they made of love, appreciation, and respect?
Do you display your competence, your usefulness, and your reliability? Or do you display your humanness, your uniqueness, your love?
All my life, I have been trying to prove my worthiness for love. But the more useful I have shown myself to be, the more elusive real love has been.
Yes, if you work very hard, you can earn positive regard. But that positive regard is not love. It is more likely to settle into dependency.
I am being crushed under interlocking layers of dependency.
So, when I had the chance to appear somewhere new, where no one needed me, I had the chance to experience a new way of being. My appearance changed the relational landscape there, and so people looked up with interest, and saw me for the unique person I am.
We are interdependent beings. I do not want to shirk my responsibilities.
But what are my real responsibilities?
7 years ago