If I've gone kind of quiet again recently, it's because I've had a lot of decisions to make. Having decisions means having choices, which in turn means having freedom -- and this is good, yes? Especially when I think of people who are held in captivity, or who simply feel trapped in their lives, I remember that freedom is a privilege, a gift.
But even so, having too much to decide can feel like a burden. Maybe it is because the act of making a decision is an act of letting go of the freedom offered by having a range of possibilities -- once you make your decision, you now lock into a specific course of action.
Or maybe that's not it at all. Maybe the problem is that the state of having to make decisions is a state in which your attention is seized and controlled. It's hard to think about other things when you are preoccupied with important decisions. So the state of indecision is not actually freedom, but it can be a way of feeling held captive. You are held captive by having to think about something and being unable to actually act until you have finally decided.
So, is the state of having a lot of decisions to make a state of freedom, or a kind of captivity -- or, paradoxically, both?
7 years ago