I keep thinking that things will calm down soon, but life is full of surprises. Things keep happening that I wasn't quite expecting, throwing off my attempts to establish order and predictability into my life.
The things that have been happening are mostly good. Some have even been transcendent moments, injecting bursts of eternity into the corners of a crowded life. It is amazing that this is possible.
It is all good, and yet... and yet... Will life ever calm down and return to normal?
If I'm honest with myself, the normality I long for was never in place -- or was it? Perhaps in fleeting moments? Can a fleeting moment set the standard for normality in one's life? However fleeting, such moments still are real, hence possible, and so they tempt us into believing that they can become the norm.
Or is that not the point? Is the calm I seek not really dependent on circumstances becoming calm and predictable, but dependent instead on something about me? Can I bring calm centeredness even into the unpredictable surprises that happen, and embrace them with hope and joy instead of anxiety?
Is this in fact what happens when the unexpected becomes transcendent?
5 years ago