Thursday, May 12, 2005

Free Fall

One of the strange things about the academic life is that everything can get impossibly busy during the semester, and then, suddenly, one day, it is all over.

I feel hurled over a cliff. Free fall.

It's not that I no longer have anything to do (my "to do" list remains embarrassingly long). It's that suddenly there is no longer a schedule running my life for me. Now I have to make decisions about which of the many items on my list I should attend to next!

There still are some things on my schedule, but they are now spaced far enough apart that I have time to look around and take stock and, well, get anxious about certain things, actually.

Still, I am very very happy to have reached this moment. Because the final grading is so stressful to me, I follow it up by sending notes to some of my students (those I think will be disappointed with their grades -- to help explain and put it into perspective for them). It's when I finish this most stressful task that I finally regard the hard work to be done. And I reached that moment today. So, I am at that wonderful moment when I have the whole of the summer break ahead of me! I like to savor this beginning, because I know that before I know it, the summer will have fled!

But not now. Now it just begins!

This is a creative moment, full of possibility!

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